The Reality of High School Romance

High school can be an exhilarating yet brutally confusing time—especially when it comes to relationships. I myself—though probably the biggest romantic you’d ever meet—often feel like I’m wearing a “boy repellent” sign on my back no matter what I do. Just recently, on National Boyfriend Day, my social media feeds were flooded with couples posting their cute pics. Meanwhile, I was over here celebrating my relationship with pizza and Netflix. Spoiler alert: it’s not exactly romantic.

Navigating the Double Standard

In high schools, the relationship landscape seems to resemble a reality show gone wild. Everyone seems to be in a relationship, or that infamous “talking stage,” and I’m left wondering if I accidentally missed the memo on how to attract boys.

I’ve felt pressure to fit into certain molds and meet certain standards that us teens are bombarded with every day. Honestly, I sometimes imagine my life as a rom-com, with the perfect meeting and all the dramatic tension. But the reality? More like a sitcom where I awkwardly trip over my words and my crush doesn’t even know my name.

The Impact of Rejection on Self-Perception

When I feel that rejection, I start to believe I’m unlovable, and it can feel like I’m in my own personal horror movie titled “The Night of the Undateables.” I’ve realized that this “boy repellent” stigma often stems from my self-perceptions that are based upon what high school boys may think of me, rather than who I truly am.

I asked my friend Juliet Murphy ‘25 about her input on high school romances. She said, “To quote the amazing Lisa Frakenstein, ‘You like cool movies and stuff, but only for you. And you don’t want your girlfriend to like cool stuff. Do you know how uncool that is?,”meaning that there’s a double standard here. In my experience teenage guys really like to be the important and knowledgeable ones in the relationship, so when a girl has a similar interest, the guys start to feel threatened and label those girls as undesirable.”

Embracing Self-Worth and Friendship Over Relationships

I’ve realized how true that is. As girls, our personalities and interests— what make us who we are—seem to be debased by guys to only being pretty, obedient, and overall just generic. Like we can’t be admired for our passions!

That our interests are “weird” because they may differ from the fads of the rest of society! The idea of this “perfect girl” completely erases the confidence and authenticity of us girls that shined so brightly when we were younger and free.

Building Confidence and Finding Support Through Friendships

Well, I have found that working on confidence as if it is the confidence of the little girl inside of me can change my life. I’ve also surrounded myself with friends who remind me that my worth isn’t tied to whether I have a boyfriend or not.

And I don’t go for guys who laugh and cringe and roll their eyes at what I love to do!

Because after all, who needs a boyfriend right now when you have friends who will dance with you to your favorite songs? Or binge-watch terrible reality shows with you? Or hype up your Instagram posts? Or put up with your Dancing With the Stars obsession? Or stay up all night with you to help you study for a test you procrastinated on? Or remind you every single day that you’re a beautiful person, inside and out? Well, I’m lucky to have found people in that department.

High School Love: Temporary Challenges, Lifelong Lessons

It’s easy to feel lonely or frustrated when everyone and their pets seem happy in their relationships. National Boyfriend Day was a vivid reminder of this, but I keep telling myself that these feelings are common and temporary.

The truth is that we really don’t know if all teen couples are happy, or if they just date each other to prove some sort of worth and share it all over social media. High school is just one chapter in our lives. And, sometimes, teenage boys can be immature (it is scientifically proven)! But it is important to remember that they are experiencing the same stresses of young adult life as we are. We are all imperfect and wired for struggle, but we are also meant to be loved entirely and flourish into all-around beautiful people!

Staying Hopeful and Open to Future Relationships

​​I like to remind myself that love often comes when you least expect it, maybe while you’re stuffing your face with snacks and binge-watching your favorite show! So, I’m staying hopeful and patient, ready for the moment when I can put down the pizza and pick up someone special.

High school relationships can be daunting, especially when they don’t fit the movie-like ideals we often imagine. If you ever feel like a “boy repellent,” know that you’re not alone, and this feeling is not at all a reflection of your true value. Embrace the amazing, loveable person that you are, build strong friendships, and keep your heart open. The right connections will come. And believe me, when they do, I’ll be right there, ready to embrace them—hopefully with a little less pizza and a lot more romance!